Saturday, September 10, 2011

Emotional

I know I shouldn't be blogging, I shouldn't be blaming it on anyone, and I'm not blaming it on anyone but somehow I need to release some sadness in me...

Fear of writing today. It ended at almost 10pm and Hysen very nicely gave me a lift to somerset MRT. Was deciding really hard if I should go to QY's place for the chem engine gathering. And yeah, I decided to go because I thought I could at least go and have some food (my thought only).

Took the train all the way to Woodlands with this annoying abnn who kept leaning on the pole and the whole way I had to balance myself! FML #1.

Then I took bus 901 and according to instructions, I was supposed to alight when I see a condo. So damn dark, and I totally missed the stop by 2-3 stops. FML #2.

Walked back the whole 2-3 stops (damn freaking far) and it was just grass grass and more grass around me... No sight of any single human being. So damn ulu.

Found my way back finally and went up to QY's place. Thought I could have some fun, eat some yummy bbq food.. But all I could do was to sit on the sofa alone, and entertain myself while the rest played some card game. FML #3.

Played every single game that my phone could possibly load (the internet was damn horrible FML #4), and ended up with nothing to do.

I think I was trying to act entertained for more than an hour. FML #5.

Wanted to cry on the spot cause yeah, they were laughing laughing laughing and I was sitting there alone, stoning and just acting busy. "Just kill me" was all I could think of seriously.

Damn stupid me, to go all the way there to just sit on the sofa and stone. I should have just said I'm not going, why am I so damn stupid?

And yeah, was trying so damn hard not to cry in front of all of them cause of boredom and exasperation. And then, the moment I reached home, it was like releasing all the agony and pain I had. Cried out all my sorrow and yup, now I've to continue living life and bathe and sleep.

Seriously, I suck at handling such situations where I have to bloody stone and act entertained. Dear God, please do not put me through such situations anymore because I know I really f-ing can't take it.

So, YIP LAI MENG, don't be so stupid in future.

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