Sunday, March 21, 2010

When It's Back To Reality.

I just came back to reality, to where I'm supposed to be. A sudden thought just struck me that I'm in NUS, I've a thousand million projects to complete by the first week of April, I've lots of work to do for this weekend, tomorrow' sunday and I haven't done anything at all, I should be mugging my ass off and not enjoying myself as if I've just completed my A's.

All of a sudden, all the fun I had made me feel really guilty and freaking worried... I'm worried that my projects will end up like crap (cos I haven't started on any!). I'm afraid I'll start crying like some crybaby because I can't complete my projects on time. I'm scared I'll be so stressed and depressed with the crazy amount of last minute work I've got to do. And it certainly doesn't help when there are other commitments to handle as well.

I have a really strong feeling I'll start bursting out in tears soon...

I kept telling myself everything will turn out fine, I'll be able to complete all the projects eventually, and they will be over soon...

But somehow, all the self-assurance doesn't seem to work anymore and I find myself thinking of my projects every night when I'm lying on my bed. I'll be thinking of what I can do for it, what I should include in it... and all this thinking always make me have terrible nightmares.

Okayy, I'll probably be fine by tomorrow.. I just had to bring myself back to think of all these stuff. I'll be back to my happy self, back to the someone that everyone thinks I am by tomorrow.

Have you ever wondered why someone puts a smiley face, is that person actually smiling or is that smiley just there because it looks better that way?

Anyway, the day started off really badly. I was having like the worst cramps ever the moment I woke up at 130pm. It lasted all the way till probably 5pm... then when I was on my way to Annie's house for royalties gathering, it started all over again.

The time spent at Annie's house was awesome. The whole of Royalties was here (except Vics who's at Melbourne).. And I really enjoyed the company.

But when I reached home and sat in front of my laptop, I feel really guilty and geegeefied, I feel like digging a hole and jumping into it without having to come out anymore.

Alright, I shall go to bed and tell myself that everything will be fine when I wake up.

I'll be fine. Serious.



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